This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
A bitchslap is in order.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
