you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
