i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
