Screwed.edu
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
