I'm lost and stupid without you.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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