Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
