is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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