I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
