Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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