Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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