Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
