you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I want a musical about memes.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize