Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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