Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
wanna go halves on a baby?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
