I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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