Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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