she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
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you are never too drunk for berry picking
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to be your penis for a week.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat