why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.