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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I got chris browned last night

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking

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• (646): View more from New York

  How are you going to be there by 9am?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Relax I always go to these conferences hung over

  (646): View more from New York

  You say that like it's a positive quality

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!

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