Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
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I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
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Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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