Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
