I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
