dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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