OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize