Soap is not a condiment
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
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She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
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That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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