Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
