i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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