I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
