I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
