I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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