Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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