Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
