Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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