OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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