please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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