my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
