But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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