Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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