I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
