I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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