FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
