She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
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The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
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You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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