ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
