I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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