Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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