what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
