Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
