if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
