Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
