wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
