So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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