what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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