We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
