very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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