I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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