you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize